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Double Digits, this calls for double the quotes: Ted: After he proposed a vocational paradigm shift, I made an impromptu presentation using a four-prong approach which really brought him to his knees. Barney: You hit him with a chair? Ted: Yep. Barney: That’s my boy! – Jen: So, any thoughts on food? Ted: Yeah. You...

Marshall: So after Lily and I get married… who get’s the apartment? Ted: wow… that’s a tough one, y’know who i think could handle that problem? Marshall: Who? Ted: Future Ted & Future Marshall. Marshall: Totally.

Marshall: It’s been 45 minutes. We could’ve had sex three times by now! Lily: Try five! (they high five)

Marshall: MILSWANCAs? Ted: Wait, I can get this… Mothers I’d Like to Sleep With And Never Call Again!

Ted: You’re scared of the seven dwarves? Robin: Just of Doc. He’s creepy… I mean, the guy went to medical school, what’s he doing living with six coalminers?

Ted: Okay, you..you want us to go over there, right now, and say to those girls, ‘Daddy’s home.’ Really think about that, Barney. Barney: Hmm…yeah, I think it’s pretty solid.

Barney: Ted, the only reason to wait a month for sex is if she’s 17 years, 11 months old.

Marshall: A drumroll? So what? that’s it? You just said good night, went home and… performed the drum solo?

Barney: You’ve been pork free so long you’re practically kosher.

Barney: I’m teaching Ted how to live. I’m like Yoda, only instead of little and green, I’m awesome and wear suits. I’m Broda, and tonight, you’re going to use the force to get any girl in here.